MOnday check in on Wednesday

It has been a pretty busy week, but I thought I'd post a check-in anyway. Better late than never, right? This last week and a half has been...rough. And of course I know why - I've been busy and let that squeeze out my time with Him. Knowing I need it, knowing I can't do this without His constant help. SO I'm not surprised that it's been hard to give up reading while I eat. I mean this is a lifelong habit, literally, and it's something that part of me does not WANT to give up. I know I need to and I know that the reward will far out-weigh the loss, but part of me is still as stubborn little girl stomping my foot and howling "I DON"T WANT TO!" My Father is teaching me self-control - I just wish I was a faster learner.

Kids are funny:)

Levi is in the kitchen crunching on chips without asking. So I calmly say "Levi what are you doing?"
He says "Oh nothing. Just a little ingestment."
I say "what?"
"Just a little ingestment - I'm trying to test what happens when the food you chew goes down the long pipe into your ingestines. First I have to chew it into tiny pieces. I'm using these chips."
I think he's figured out that I'm a sucker for anything that sounds like he's learning:)

Monday check in

I sit here in awe at the power of my Father. Something that seemed like an impossible goal last week, by His strength, was a breeze. An absolute breeze! I have a real hard time not turning to food for stress relief. An especially big problem was that quiet time when the kids are in bed and Casey's just left for work. Every night as soon as it got quiet, I'd think "now I can grab a book and sit down and eat something!" The bigger the stress or better the book, the longer I'd want to stay at the table reading and eating. And then I'd go to bed. So that ain't healthy. Last Sunday night I really prayed about this and through the whole week I didn't eat after supper even once. I'll admit to being tempted a time or two, but it was amazingly easy to say "I don't eat after supper any more" and walk away. As if...the food didn't have any hold over me any more! Now the day time was still chaotic and I didn't really pay much attention to what I ate then (beyond making sure I wasn't eating between mealtimes). But I couldn't believe how much of a difference praying about this (and the prayers of lots of others, THANK YOU!) made this last week. It's really reaffirmed for me that God does really desire for me to do this, and that He really is willing to actively help me. He isn't just up there handing me assignments and then leaving me to my own devices to accomplish them. And since I know He will help me, I'm feeling brave enough to tackle what I think will be the toughest challenge of this whole thing. This is a behaviour that is absolutley ingrained in me - I've been doing this for as long as I can remember and I'll admit I love it. I don't really even like the idea of giving it up, but I know I need to. And I know I'll need a lot of prayer to be able to! This week, starting now, I'm no longer going to read while I eat. Whoo. I'm going to be real honest here. The idea of eating without reading holds no appeal for me. I can't even imagine just sitting down and eating something without anything else to do. The only time I ever don't read while I eat is when we're all at supper. At breakfast and lunch I usually talk to the kids while they eat and then when they're done, I grab a book and whatever I'm going to eat. SO this is going to be a large shift in how I do things. Please pray for me if you feel led to. I sure would appreciate it!

Works For Me Wednesday - The Classic Edition

The other Shannon over at Rocks in My Dryer hosts this great event so go check out all the fabulous ideas. Everyone is re-running their favorite tip today so there should be some oldies-but-goodies! Here's mine!


I haven't had time to read all the entries today, so I hope this isn't a repeat.I make fajita kits for nights when we're really busy. Frozen peppers and onions in one ziploc bag, frozen (fully cooked, seasoned and sliced) chicken in another bag, tortillas in another bag, and shredded cheese and taco sauce in smaller ziploc bags. Then I put all of that in a BIG bag and stick it in the freezer. I can grab one out, heat everything up and have dinner ready in less than 20 minutes

Monday - Health goals check in

It's been a few weeks since I checked in and that's because...(big surprise) I fell off the wagon. Being sick and having sick kids and a few other stresses were just perfect excuses to soothe myself with food (and, if you've eaten a bag of pizza rolls and drank a couple of cokes, why bother exercising, right?). But I have renewed my committment and the fight goes on:) I have spent a lot of time praying about this especially over the last few days and it's finally sunk in to me that I'm addicted to eating. Not to food - to eating.
See I was thinking about why I don't drink alcohol. It's not because I think it's a sin - I don't. If Christ drank wine, that's good enough for me. I do believe drunkeness is a sin, but that's a whole other topic. Anyway. The reason I just don't drink is that I have a family history of alcoholism and I've always wanted to avoid even the possibility of being addicted to alcohol. And, by His grace alone, I have. But I seem to have replaced drinking alcohol with eating. When I've had a stressful day, I literally can't wait to sit down and "snack." If I'm out of something I want to eat, I'll make a special trip. That's right, for a coke and chips I will load up three kids and face the grocery store. Now if that's not addiction, I don't know what is!
So once again I'll have to call on my Father. I just. can't. do. this. by. myself. I need the strength to turn away from the temptation. I need the peace only He gives when my day has been long. I need to rest in Him, not at the dinner table.

My Word Cloud - funny, huh?

 

Next Week's Discussion

We're still talking about No Ordinary Home right here, so feel free to continue commenting. I just wanted to remind everyone to check with Dawn here for the location of next week's discussion on Chapter 5. We're going to talk about the Sabbath and it is an awesome chapter!

No Ordinary Home discussion

Welcome everybody! It's time to discuss Chapter Four of No Ordinary Home. I hope y'all are enjoying this as much as I am. Thanks, Dawn, for getting us all together - this is great!

The Dailies
I could've written this chapter. Casey and started our home together with vastly - vastly! - different attitudes about housekeeping. He was fanatically neat - I recognized this when we were dating and he paused a movie we were watching to take the popcorn bowl into the kitchen, wash it!, and put it away before finishing the movie - and I was, well, less fanatical. I had no problem vacuuming once a month instead of once a week, for example (this was before we had rugrats, by the way). When Levi came along I was thrown for a total loop - not only was I dealing with some health issues, a brand new baby, a lot of (I hate to admit) anger and guilt about having a c-section, a total reordering of my life plan and a (perceived) big power shift between me and Casey, but now I was supposed to KEEP THE HOUSE CLEAN, TOO!!!
For a long time I thought that having a clean house was surely a sign that I wasn't using my brain - it was a pride thing. Surely I was too...whatever...to be scrubbing toilets, right? But when I finally (listened to my Father and) changed my attitude to reflect Colossians 3:23-24 - And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men; knowing that from the Lord you shall receive the reward of the inheritance. For you serve the Lord Christ - I started to see that life is in these details. The toilet has to be cleaned, so clean it well, clean it with style! About that time I was reminded of an illustration that I read in one of Mary Pride's books (I think All The Way Home) about Cinderella. In the old Disney movie, Cinderella is singing and swishing and swabbing the floor with class and beauty. Because she is faithful in her work, she is fit to go before the prince (along the lines of Proverbs 22:29 Do you see a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before unknown men.) Well, my Prince is coming to sweep me away one day, too. How do I want Him to find me? Diligently doing my work with grace and a thankful heart or whining about how hard my lot is and how no one helps me?
But how do we go from knowing so little about running a home to doing it with grace and style and love? I really liked what she said about having a committee. I think we often feel like we need A Titus 2 woman to show us how to do everything, but that doesn't work. We aren't supposed to be carbon copies of one another. And no single older woman is going to know everything we need to know. We have to be *picky* - picking a little from this woman about scheduling, a little from this woman about cleaning, a little from this woman about cooking and a little from this woman about doing it all with joy:)
Carol (the author - I feel like we're friends now so I'm going to call her Carol:) ) left us with some great practical questions to ponder so that we can make some changes in the areas where we see a need.

List the areas of your life that feel disorganized, cluttered, chaotic.
Who can help you organize or learn the tricks of homemaking in those areas?
What areas of your life feel sacred to you?
How can you enhance them? Make them more regular? Share them with others?
What areas of your life feel ordinary, mundane, and definitely not sacred?
I think I'll think and pray about these tonight and share about them tomorrow in the comments. Please, everyone, feel free to make yourselves at home here. Share about your thoughts on the chapter, how you felt as you started making a home, your answers to the above questions-just anything:)

Grocery Shopping - the whole story

Today was Jack's first time sitting in the front of the grocery buggy. Stop yawning - this is a big deal in our family! Brenna was promoted to sitting in the back and helping stack the groceries and Levi, as always, was walking beside me (or running or hopping but at least staying out of the way). Things were going well. Jack loves his grocery seat cover. It kept him occupied the whole time and I only paid $4 for it! Brenna was sitting comfortably on a pack of Kroger brand pullups (which have velcro sides like the expensive ones) and stacking the boxes. I kept having to remind Levi though to watch where he was going. He'd turn around to talk to me and bump into one thing after another. Just as I was saying "Levi, please, for the hundredth time, be careful. If you bump into that tower of cans it will fall," well, what do you think happened? That's right. I ram the buggy right into a big old center aisle display of @L Sprites. Four cases (that's 24 bottles, folks) come crashing to the ground. It was such a cartoons-come-to-life kind of moment. But my precious son was very chivilrous about it. "That's alright, mom, it was just an accident. You can't help you weren't watching where you were going." :( He helped me pick up all the bottles (boy, I hope whoever buys those has a long ride home). He's a good kid.

My 9-11 Story

The other Shannon over at Rocks in My Dryer is encouraging others to share the story of where they were on September 11, 2001. Her's is here. If you'd like to share your's or read others you can leave a link or find a link at the bottom of her post.

I was at work on the morning of September 11, 2001. Almost six months pregnant, I was actually having a pretty good morning (which meant I'd been able to hold down some breakfast). I was at my desk snacking on vanilla wafers and peanut butter, listening to the radio - oh, and working - when my sister-in-law called to tell me a plane a hit the World Trade Center. I pictured a little plane - I thought maybe some little commuter type plane had been flying in the city for some reason and gotten of course. I couldn't understand why my sister-in-law, who was at home watching the news, sounded so upset.
I remember talking casually about it to Casey and with my co-workers. And turning on the radio to see what they were saying. I especially remember not being very upset just yet.
I went into the lobby and turned on the old black and white tv just in time to see the second plane hit. My boss was standing beside me as I sat down hard on the couch. It was suddenly very obvious to me what was going on and my first concern was my brother. He was in the navy then (the Army now) and stationed at Norfolk in Virginia. Just the year before he had been on a ship in the Middle East when the USS Cole was bombed - they had passed through Yemen only days before and after the attack his ship had turned around to go back to Yemen and assist the Cole. Knowing that these planes may well send us to war, knowing that he was just down the coast from where all this was happening and might be called to go there - it just chilled me to the bone.
By then everyone of my co-workers was standing around this tiny black and white screen. We all watched together for a little while before my boss sent me to Walmart to buy a new big screen tv for the lobby. When I got to Walmart, I wasn't the only one buying a tv. It seemed like everyone had to know what was going on. How many of us were glued to our televisions that day and in the days to come? Walmart - that's where I was when I heard about the plane hitting the Pentagon. So many times we walk through the store without noticing the people around us, but that day I was so concious of the other people. There was just a sense of really being one nation that day and in the days that followed.
I cried on the way back to work thinking of the world I was bringing my baby into. I called my husband and my parents. I called friends to make sure they were safe. I prayed. And now, five years later, the world is still spinning and The One on the Throne is still in control. And I am still praying...for the safety of our nation and for the souls of our nation. None of us who lived through that day will ever forget that day. I didn't know anyone who lost their life in New York or Washington or Pennsylvania that day, but it still changed my life. Never again will any of us be able to say "it can't happen here."

Works For Me Wednesday

This is a pretty simple idea, but it really works for me when I'm cooking supper. This toy is supposed to hang on the side of the crib, but it never saw much use that way around here because my babies don't spend much time in their crib. It's perfect to hang on the back of a kitchen chair, though. Once they can sit up pretty well, I hang it up and they only get to sit there while I'm cooking - they're close to me, but occupied and out of harm's way.
Now head on over to the other Shannon's and check out all the fabulous ideas!
BTW, that's eczema on his little cheeks and it looks much worse in the picture than in real life, but if anyone has any ideas about how to get rid of it - I'll try anything at this point! It comes and goes, but I have tried cuting everything out of my diet and if it's an allergy I sure can't figure it out. He's still pretty cute though, huh?

Moms and Dads for Modesty

Everyday Mommy has come up with a brilliant plan for parents to band together in supporting companies that provide modest, but still cute, clothing for little girls. Go here to read her mission statement and add your name to her comments section.

Free Chocolate

Go here and signup (it's fast, I promise) and we'll both get free chocolate! Good free chocolate!

Holy Home

How do we bring the Holy home? That's what andwe asked us as we started our bookclub today. (We're reading No Ordinary Home, btw, if anyone wants to join in.) It's also kind of what they're talking about over at Choosing Home so be sure you check that out this week. It's a topic that's really close to my heart. I want to have a home filled with His presence - I want people to feel Him when they walk in the door and I want to equip us to take Him to the rest of the world. But how does it look? What do we do?
Right from the beginning with Levi we've had daily prayer times. My dad always said our prayers with each of us at night and that's a really special memory of mine so I wanted to be sure and include that in our family. So every evening Casey and I pile all the kids on our bed to talk about the day and say our prayers. We start out teaching them to say "now I lay me" but also pray for people we know or specific situations that have come up in our talk. Levi is starting now to forego the "now I lay me" part and pray in his own voice. He amazed the people at church on back to school prayer night by praying outloud in front of everyone (and cracked everyone up by praying that God would help me make more milk for his little brother!).
We've recently started having a family prayer time in the mornings, too. Our days are so much smoother when we start off that way.
Another thing we do is have scripture all over the house. I'm still working on painting on the walls. I only have one verse painted on so far, the Train Up A Child verse in Levi's room. Complete with a train:) I have framed caligraphy all over the place though with scriptures from the "fruits of the spirit" to "choose you this day". I can't wait to paint even more - I'm especially looking for a good marriage one for our room, if anyone has any suggestions.
We're also both very careful to make sure that the kids see us reading our Bibles and hear us talking about our Bible study (even if it's over their heads). We want them to understand that reading the Word is a daily thing.
I've been thinking a lot lately about celebrating the Sabbath in a new way. We've always gone to church on Sundays and usually spend time either as a family or with our church family then, too. But I think I would like to do something more. So I hope to spend some time looking into that soon. I'm really excited to see what ideas other people are trying, too. You never know where a great idea is going to come form:)

Works for me Wednesday!

I thought I'd jump back on the WFMW bandwagon! I've learned soooo much over at the other Shannon's site - check it out!
So my tip for this week is ...plastic placemats for kids. I'm sure most moms already figured this out, but scrubbing the table after EVERY meal was getting old fast. The placemats are so easy to wipe down or just haul to the sink. And the kids loved picking their own at Walmart. For $1.88 it sure has made mealtimes easier!

1st day of homeschool

This morning was our first "official" day of homeschool. Official to us anyway:) Levi's very excited about being in preK - he wanted to show off his pencil box and school supplies. We also marked his and Brenna's height on the doorframe. Brenna did NOT appreciate that. I don't know what she thought was happening, but she howled! And that's why we have no picture of Brenna.
We have a few other things planned for today - cupcakes for snack time and an after-supper in-our-jammies (the kids! I meant the kids!) ice cream run. But lessons are over for today (the preplanned, sit at the table ones anyway) - we kept that kind of short. And they went really well. Levi's reading is coming along:)

Monday - time to check in

I actually didn't weigh myself this morning. As of Friday I hadn't lost any weight, but I can tell a little difference in the way my khakis fit:) I've been sticking with my original goals (except the coconut oil - forgot it at the grocery store!) and I think I'm ready to add in a little more.
1. a walk every day except Sunday - I'm going to try to head out alone right after Casey gets home while it's still pretty cool, but if I have to I can walk around the yard while the kids are playing. Jack loves the walker now that the grass has come in a little:)
2. start pilates again a couple of nights a week. I always sleep so well if I do this workout before bed, and that brings me to...
3. Go to sleep earlier. Ideally, I'd like to be asleep by 11:30. But Jack's going to have to stop waking up at 1 (and 3 and 5 - what's the deal?!?).
So hopefully after a few weeks these will all be second nature. My aunt and uncle are doing a very interesting sounding 3 day on/ 4day off diet that I may look into when I can start "dieting" just to speed this process along. But I'm trying really hard to focus on being healthy and not so much on being thin. Sure is hard though!

On the health front

Well, it's Monday - time to check in. I've lost 2 whole pounds! For a grand total of 7! It was a long stressful week and I won't claim that I met all my goals, but I did manage to handle the stress without binging and without relying on coke to keep me going. That's definitely progress. I'm going to stick with these same goals for one more week and hopefully by next Monday I'll be ready to add a few more.

A Sad Weekend...

We lost my Uncle Jack this weekend. The memorial service today was very moving. Casey gave the eulogy and I don't know if I've ever been prouder of him - he did such a wonderful job of capturing Uncle Jack's personality. We will miss him so much, but can't wait to see him again in Glory.
This has been the first opportunity we've had to talk much about death with Levi and that's been emotional, but so special to me. We talked about Uncle Jack's mansion in Heaven and Levi wanted to know if it would be near ours. I promised him we'd all be in the same neighborhood - it's Heaven, right?

Obedience and Weight Loss

Well, I haven't lost a pound this week. Five pounds all together but none this week. But that's not the real measure of success here. What I'm really concerned with is how I obeyed Him. So on that count how did I do? Well, not well enough. Never well enough. The exercise, the coconut oil and the coke didn't give me too much trouble, but I didn't reach my water goal even once. SO there's still room to improve. But I did learn one very important thing over the past week. Every time I was tempted to ignore what I knew I was supposed to do, the outcome depended entirely on whether or not I prayed. If I wanted a coke and prayed "Lord, I know that for my own well-being You've asked me to set this aside, but it's hard and I need your help" then I could put it down and walk away. If I thought about trying to lose weight as if that was my goal, it was all over but the drinking.:(

My mom and sister are coming for a visit today!

I'm so grateful for a chance to see them. They live way out in Texas and didn't get to make their usual trip home for the summer, so I've been extra missing them. My sister is about to start her senior year of high school this fall and I was really bummed about not getting to spend anytime with her first. She's been busy (BUSY!) this summer with mission trips and work at church and a few fun trips too, so this is really the first chance she's had to visit, too. So we're squeezing in a long weekend! I wish my dad didn't have to work:( But I'll take what I can get!

Weight Loss Plans

I can't believe I'm going to post this, but I'm trying to give myself a lot of accountability here - no place to hide is actually what I'm going for. Most of you who know me in "real life" know that I have some weight to lose (thanks for not mentioning it!). And now that Jack is getting a little bigger (sigh), I'm getting in a big fat (yeah, I said it) hurry to get in shape. I don't want to continue down this road of being out of shape and out of breath and too big for the slide on the playground. But more than what I want, God's calling me to get this under control (only by His grace, of course), to be more disciplined across the board. So I'm jumping in.
Here are my goals for this week -
1. No coke - this one should be pretty easy. I actually quit about 2 weeks ago (and had a massive week-long headache!).
2. 8 cups of water a day - I'd like to drink more, but I think I'll work my way up from here.
3. 2 T coconut oil everyday. When I get a second I'll come back and add a link here. Coconut oil is supposed to be very good for supporting the thyroid and since I have thyroid issues, I'm going to try it.
4. Something raw at every meal.
5. 10 min of some kind of exercise every day. I know it's not much, but it's so much more than I'm doing now.
So that's it. Every Monday I'm going to note how I'm doing, so feel free to skip Mondays for those of you who love me for my wit and not my body :)

No more trips to the Post Office:)

My Works For Me Wednesday entry this week is pretty basic but it is such a big help to me. With three littles and a post office with no parking, I just don't have time to run in there every time I need stamps. And sure I used to buy them in the checkout at the grocery store, but with kids begging for candy and all the half-naked women I'm trying to teach Levi to ignore...well, I'm busy at the checkout. So I get my stamps in the mail. You can order them here. But I have a bright orange envelope that I got from my mailman. I leave a check in it and put it in the mailbox. He takes the check and leaves me stamps:) Nice and simple, just like I like.
Head over to the other Shannon's and read all the great ideas!

My personality type

You Are An INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

What's" Your Personality Type?

July 19 WFMW

I love Works for Me Wednesday!

This is something that millions of other people have probably already figured out but ... We had a serious stuffed animal storage issue going on. The kids have lots of beautiful stuffed toys and they love to play with them so getting rid of them wasn't really an option for me. I had to have something high enough that they couldn't pull them down on there own (I let them pick which ones to keep out for the week). And I didn't have a free corner to hang one of those cool nets that they sell for this very purpose - also they didn't really go with the decor (which is a lovely princess theme that you can't see in this picture). So we took three cup hooks and threaded through about 4 yards of leftover tulle from someone's wedding. It looks a little lopsided in the picture, but it's usually quite pretty. Brenna calls them her animal clouds:) 

Works for Me Wednesday

Love, LOVE, LOVE Works for Me Wednesday over at Rocks In My Dryer. Check it out for great tips on everything!

My tip for today is pretty simple. I use an over the door shoe holder to organize the nursery closet. Brenna and Jack share a room so there is a lot of little stuff to keep track of in that room. The pockets are just the right size for diapers and/or pullups - the closet is right next to the changing table so everything is easy to reach. I also keep Brenna's hairbows so I can match them to her outfit when I pull it out of the closet. Ditto for hats, shoes, etc. There's plenty of room for creams and powders, too, and they're up high out of the reach of little girls who love lotion:) It's a lifesaver for me!

When I am dry You fill my cup

I asked for prayer this morning for my attitude. My pastor's a riot - he wrote "Shannon's 'tude" on the list. I've been so ... fed up lately, feeling criticisized at every turn, angry at everyone. And I certainly realize that some of this is postpartum aftershocks, some of it was me taking my eyes off the Father and focusing too much on the opinions of this world.
Well, God is no slow-poke and He answered my prayer only moments into the service through the music. I'm very close to our music leader but I hadn't talked to her about what's going on (I'd rather whine to y'all where I can delete anyone who calls me on it - haha) so I know it wasn't her planning that I have to thank. I was just singing along to the chorus All In All, encouraging Levi to sing up since he knows the words, when the words washed over me so powerfully that I lost my breath...

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord to give up, I'd be a fool
You are my all in all
Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is Your name
Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising again, I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down, You pick me up
When I am dry, You fill my cup
You are my all in all

My cup has been dry - not only are people sipping out of the top, some of them are gulping actually, but I've been struggling with others who seem determined to drill some holes or make some cracks, too. But my real problem, the one that hinges on me falling short and not other people that I can't control, is that I haven't been seeking Him. I've been looking for approval in all the wrong places and when it wasn't forthcoming (and, boy, was it not forthcoming) I've let it affect me. He is my All in All and He asks me to Trust and Obey (can you guess what the next hymn was?). So I did get a 'tude check at church this morning:) Just what I needed.

Works for Me Wednesday

My works for me post this week is one little tidbit and one BIG DEAL THING THAT I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT.
The tidbit is this - I try to keep a vinyl tablecloth in the car for imprompto picnics, to sit on when the ground is wet, etc.
But my huge thing I couldn't live without is my family. There is nothing in this life like having a close and loving family. We pull together, we *know* each other, we take care of one another. And that works for me!
Run by Shannon's place to see the rest of the fabulous ideas.

The Two Jacks

I'm only going to leave this up for just a little while, but I wanted to share this picture with y'all of our Uncle Jack holding his namesake. This is one of my very favorite men in the universe - he's just everything I think a man should be. He has this incredible ability to make you feel like the most beautiful, cherished, precious woman in a room. There are so many things about him that I want to pass on to my boys - he's so caring and so protective and such a *man's man* - but never in a condesending or belittling way. He has such a strong wife and daughter and is so proud of both of them. Oh, I have tears in my eyes just trying to type this. I wanted to ask for your prayers because we may lose Uncle Jack soon to cancer. I just can't imagine the hole that would leave in the world. And how I hate the idea that my boys might grow up without listening to him tell a story and that Brenna won't know what it's like to hear him say "hello, darlin'." When we decided to name our first boy after Casey (and his dad and his grandfather), we already knew that we would want to name our next son (if God blessed us with two) after Uncle Jack and my daddy. We want our boys to know these great men and to feel a little of the weight of these great big shoes to fill. And we wanted these great men to know how much we love them. 

Advice - the good, the mean and the messed-up

I know a lot of women. Some of them I know in person, some I've only met online, some I've known my whole life, some I haven't. But I know a lot of women and, of those women, there are quite a few that I am exceedingly fond of. Many I would cry over should we be separated. But none of them are me. None of them are my children's mother or my hubby's wife - that's just me. I can hear some of you saying "duh" but bear with me - I think if I type long enough this will make sense (you might want to grab a snack...).
Lately I've been struggling. I don't know if it's hormones or what (although I do seem to go through this about 5-6 months after a baby is born), but it has just seemed like being me is sooo hard. There's the hard working, sleep in the day time, super-busy hubby who needs me to be a good wife. There are the three precious blessings who I would gladly throw down my life for, but who are actually requiring me to throw down MY life - every day. There's the family, the church, the prayers, the questions, the real needs. In light of all this, those women seem to have fallen into two camps. In one camp are the women who are doing what I want to do, being the kinds of wives and mothers I want to be, believing what I believe. Not perfectly, mind you. I'm not putting anyone on a pedestal here - I love these women and don't want to see them break a hip in the fall:) But they're the ones holding out a hand, being transparent, showing me how they do what they do and why. For these women I am eternally (and I mean ETERNALLY) thankful. There are some I won't see face to face this side of Glory, but I do thank God for them. Then there are the other women. I love some of these women. Really love. And I know they love me. But we don't always agree. Which is fine. I'm not one to argue. Even when I think I know better. Even when I *know* I know better. (I'm a big sister, too, Dawn) But, lately I'm getting a lot of those comments. "Are y'all really going to have any more kids?" "Now, those teething tablets you're giving him- are they safe?" "Brenna sure is shy - maybe she'd do better if she got to be around other kids more often." "Levi sure is aggressive...(see last quote)." Jack doesn't look comfortable in that thing (my new mei tai) - take him out so his legs can move around." "He's getting so fussy - don't you have a pacifier with you?" "what do you do when they're all crying at once?" And on and on and on. From friends, from family, from total strangers in the grocery store. From people who would not intentionally hurt my feelings for anything and from people who are so hung up on proving that they're right and I'm wrong that hurting me is not even an issue to consider. It's gotten to the point that one friend suggested I plan some snappy comebacks to fire off when I get one of these comments. That might be fun. But I don't want to be snappy. Well, actually I do. But I don't think my Father wants me to be snappy. I think He wants me to give a gentle answer. And I try to. Did I mention that being me is kind of hard right now? :)
So, here is what I need from all of you gracious women out there who are trying to be Titus 2 women for me and for others. I need your grace - when it's been a long day, I need to know you've been there, I need to know that you think I'm doing okay. I need your wisdom - when you see me doing something that caused you a problem, that might cause me a problem, speak up. Do it nicely please, but do it. I'm a big girl (despite the whining you just sat through) and I don't want to reinvent the wheel. It's just that I don't always (often?) know what I'm doing. And when I ASK for advice, by all means pour it on! I need you excitement and encouragement! If you think I'm trying to do a great thing here - let me know. If you see something I'm doing that is working, please don't think I already know it's working. I may be too close to even see the difference.
There's more to say, but I'm surrounded by hungry little people. And you know, I like being surrounded by hungry little people. So I'm off to save the day!
BTW, my precious children are neither overly shy or overly aggressive - but they do have their moments:)

Great post you must go read

I just have to point you over to Wisdom Has Two Parts. This post just really did it for me today. The steady dripping of "shoulds" and the raised eyebrows (some imagined by me, some not) and the subtle pressure to affirm someone else's mothering by heeding her advice has really been getting to me lately. It helped to read that I'm not the only mommy who doesn't measure up:)

WFMW: Church Bags

In an effort to get our Sundays running a little more smoothly, I've designated a separate bag to take to church. It holds the Bible I take to church (not the same one I use at home so it doesn't have to leave the bag), the usual baby stuff, interesting stuff to keep the kids quiet in an emergency and anything I might need to take with me that Sunday (the recipe someone asked for or an alabaster box - stuff like that). Nothing spectacular. The usefulness of this is that the bag is only for church, has everything we need for church, and is repacked right after church and not touched again until we're on our way back to church. When you go to church three (or more) times a week and need the same things everytime, it is a big help to know that they're all ready to go. I also usually keep the kids' Sunday School offering in this bag (their little church Bibles are in there too)and hand it all out in the parking lot, but Brenna got the cutest little dressy straw pocketbook for her birthday the other day and it is just the right size for her Bible and offering so now her purse stays packed and ready inside my bigger bag until we get there.
It might not be a necessity for everyone, but it sure WORKS FOR ME! Make sure you check out all the other fabulous ideas at the other Shannon's site!

My Girl Turns Two!

I can not believe my baby girl is already two. She's grown up so much in the last few months!

We moved to this house just before Brenna was born, when Levi was just two, and we hope to be here for a good long while. I was so excited to have our own house and think that my kids might be raised in one spot that I couldn't wait to start some traditions. So every year we take a birthday picture on the front steps. I plan on starting a home-from-the-hospital picture on the front steps, too, but so far no luck on that one:( 

Works for me Wednesday

Reading all the entries for Works For Me Wednesday has become my favorite "chore" for the week. I'm learning tons! Thanks so much to the other Shannon!
My idea for this week is pretty simple. We took all the kids' books off the shelf and put them facing forward in bins. The bins sit on top of a low shelf so that they can flip through and pick a book. It's also much easier for little ones to put books back! We eventually want to make rain gutter bookshelves, but for now, this Works For Me!

The pouch

Here's me and Jack in his pouch - he fell asleep right after we took this picture. We love this pouch! But it's about time for something a little more summery - I'm thinking we might try a mei tai next.

What a message

This is some really powerful preaching. I hope y'all will check it out.

Works For Me Wednesday

I just love Wednesday now:) I think this idea of the other Shannon's :) is fabulous! Be sure to check out all the great links over here.

As for my contribution, it's not a big deal thing, but it's something we could NOT live without. DH and I have matching dry erase boards (the kinds with a marker attached!) on the front of our fridge. I use mine to keep a small chart of vitamins & meds for everyone so I can see at a glance who's had what. It also holds my running "needs from town" list. Casey usually uses his to keep track of his detailing business. But the most important use is for writing notes to each other. Sometimes it's "please call so-and-so" and sometimes a little I love you:) But it's the only way I've found that I can consistently remember to do the little things Casey needs me to do. I just literally can not remember anything - must be mommy brain:) - that's not written down!

A Fabulous New Recipe

I tried this new recipe for Pasta Primavera last night and it is GOOOOOD! I did tweak it a little to make it a little more up our alley. I added two shredded chicken breasts (just roasted them alongside the vegetables and then shredded them up - rotisserie from the grocery store would work too) and left out the cherry tomatoes cause Casey's not so found of them. It was great - even the kids liked it! Some of our eaters are not very adventurous so you can imagine how excited I am to find a meal with lots of veggies, not much fat, protein - lots of good for you stuff - that they will eat! It would be great with whole grain pasta, too. I'm trying that next time:)

BTW, I totally missed Works For Me Wednesday this week. The week just got away from me:) Be back next Wednesday, though. Same bat time, same bat channel!

Is it Wednesday already?

Well, then, I guess it's time for Works For Me Wednesday - the brainchild of the other Shannon.

My tip for this week is a super-easy way to clean my shower and glass door. You must be careful not to slip, but there aren't any toxic fumes:) I grab a magic eraser and some dishwashing liquid and hop in the shower. Soap scum comes off with so little scrubbing that I can just throw the sponge on the floor and use my foot to wipe it clean:) A good thing since my shower is so small there is no way to clean the floor while you're in there and I hate cleaning the shower fully clothed! You get all icky. This way I clean me and the shower at the same time:)

Blissful Quiet

The house is eerily quiet. Levi and Casey have run to town pick up Casey's Rx (for pinkeye, poor baby, on top of the viral infection settled in his throat) and Brenna and Jack are sleeping like little angels:) Goodness, it doesn't take much to make me giddy lately - just a little peace and quiet!
There are approximately nine-five thousand things running through my brain right now. Should I get started on all the food I'm cooking for dinner at church tomorrow (we're dedicating the upstairs of our building which is finally finished and desperately needed! PTL!) or clean the back half of the house or do some more laundry or clean my desk or read a book (and if so which ONE? I have a shelf of 14 waiting to be read!)? Or should I get started on one of the many sewing projects I have stacked up on my sewing table? What about painting the highchair or mirrors or desks I have downstairs waiting on me? Maybe I should really scrub my shower - the door is not supposed to be frosted glass, after all. I have too much to do:)
But, the thing is, although all those things are certainly easier sans children, I can do them all with little ones by my side. It's rare that I have the chance to be alone with my Father so I think I'll get back to all of you later and get out that letter He wrote me.

*when performing spellcheck, it stopped on the word highchair. Replacement option? Hijacker! That's funny to my sleepy mommybrain:)

Works for Me Wednesday (again)

Boy this has been a busy week. Everybody has either had a cold or been fighting one (except Jack! don't tell me breastfeeding's not worth it!). We all feel pretty yucky. So here is my health related tip...

When you feel a cold coming on, right away put a few drops of hydrogen peroxide in your ears (take turns) and let it bubble. When it stops bubbling, drain your ear and do the next one. If you do it a few times a day you can usually stop a cold in its tracks. I don't know why it works, but it does!

Works for Me Wednesday

I haven't had time to read all the entries today, so I hope this isn't a repeat.

I make fajita kits for nights when we're really busy. Frozen peppers and onions in one ziploc bag, frozen (fully cooked, seasoned and sliced) chicken in another bag, tortillas in another bag, and shredded cheese and taco sauce in smaller ziploc bags. Then I put all of that in a BIG bag and stick it in the freezer. I can grab one out, heat everything up and have dinner ready in less than 20 minutes!

What I've been doing wrong

Amy has written a wonderful post on raising boys that I think every mom of boys should read. I had asked her about things she and her husband do to teach their oldest son (who is newly 8 and adorable) to be chivalrous and responsible and, well, a good man. It was so sweet of her to write something for me! Since I became a mom, I've been looking for moms who were at the same stage of parenting and a little ahead so that I could learn from them - asking questions and observing the *fruit* of what they're doing. The moms around me in the real world are wonderful - many of them are dear friends. But few of them have a vision for their children similar to the one that God has given Casey and I for our family. That is why I feel so blessed to have this blogging community of women who are so open and so willing to share what they're doing that works and what doesn't.
Which brings me to the topic of this post - what we've been doing that ISN'T working. Now don't get me wrong, I think Levi is a fabulous kid:) He's very interested in learning more about his Heavenly Father, he loves to help his earthly dad, he's very sweet and funny and loving. He loves boy stuff like baseball and fishing. Just one of my three favorite kids on the PLANET:) But lately we've been noticing a few things we really don't like and aren't willing to tolerate. Mouthiness, disrespectfulness, selfishness. We've tried some things that are *supposed* to work - being very firm, removing privledges, tomato staking, and yes spanking. We've even, I'm ashamed to say, done some stuff that we know doesn't work and isn't right - yelling and lecturing. Everything had some effect. Some things were much more effectual than others. But the bad behavior still lingers.
*I've got to stop and say one more time that overall, he is a great kid. I think that may even be why this has been bothering me SO much. He's just usually so great to be around that this seemed even worse by comparison to his usual personality.*
But after a lot of prayer and reading Amy's post and a few other things like this great post from Molly, I think I've figured what I'm doing wrong. Or maybe I've just opened my eyes to what God's been showing me. We've spent much to much time trying to correct wrong behavior instead of building the right attitudes in him. He's been watching a few too many movies (we're cautious about what he watches, but even the movies that seem good to me have *bad guys* for him to emulate). And he's been around a few bad influences. DH has been working incredibly long hours (bless his heart!) and I think Levi is missing him. It's been rainy and yucky a lot (when it's not really hot) and we haven't been outside as much. I've been busy with figuring out how to juggle the needs of a preschooler, toddler, newborn, and hubby. And, well, just busy. And I think I especially have been turning a blind eye to the fact that he isn't a baby anymore. How awful to think we haven't been giving him exactly what he needs! And how humbling for someone who gets a little prideful about her mothering sometimes.
So dh and I are developing a new game plan. So far it's going to involve a lot of outside, running around, boy-time. A lot more one on one time with dad. A lot more responsibility. And a lot more praise for all the things he does so well. A lot of all the good stuff. And a mom who's a lot more cautious about what he sees and hears, but a lot less nitpicky about the *boy stuff * like yelling (it has its place) and being bossy (he is the big brother, he just needs to learn the right way to lead). I'm really excited about raising a young man! And so a big THANK YOU to Amy and to Molly and to my Father for helping me out of this funk!

Works for Me Wednesday

The other Shannon has come up with a great idea I'm going to join her in. Make sure to check out all the great links at her site.

Now for my tip...hmm, I know. Any time one of my babies gets diaper rash, I put them in the bath tub with some baking soda in the water and let them soak. Clears it up every time!

This is going to be a very dull post

You've had fair warning:) We've been super busy around here lately and I just haven't had time to think anything interesting. So I should blog about all the stuff we've been doing, right? Only that's not too interesting either. At least not to anyone but me. But since this is my blog I guess I'll blog about it anyway:)
We had elections at church yesterday and I wasn't even nominated for anything. Now I know that they batted my name around (in the past I've been on the board and Sunday School superintendent, etc) but didn't nominate me because I resigned at the end of last year specifically because with small kids I just can't make that kind of commitment. And since that hasn't changed there was no real point in asking me just to have me turn it down. But I miss being *in the know* and helping to make the big decisions. So should I just quit having kids and in a year or two be right back in the thick of things? I think no. Following God's plan for me right now means missing out on some stuff and maybe serving less at church because I'm so busy serving at home. And sometimes when people point that out to me, it hurts my feelings a little bit because, like most humans, I want what I want when I want it. But I just keep reminding myself that there will be plenty of time for all those things I want to do, if that's part of His plan for me, later when motherhood is not quite so demanding.
Also going on lately - some serious homeschool planning. Right now we're working through Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. It's going well. I'm trying not to make it a high pressure thing since my main goal for right now is just to instill a love of learning at home. We're also playing with some math stuff and reading these sample pages from A Child's Geography. Which is fabulous by the way. Also, Levi got a new story Bible for Easter with slightly more in depth stories than the usual babyBibles So we're reading several stories out of that every night. That's been really fun. We've really expanded how much we read together as a family.
I got to go to my first LIFT (that's Ladies In Fellowship Together - have you ever heard such a corny name for a women's ministry group? I might have been the one that came up with that. Either way, we need a cooler name) meeting since before Jack was born. It was great. Things didn't go exactly as planned - something that was only suppose to take a few minutes wound up taking more than an hour - but that's all I'm going to say about that. The night was great for me. Fellowship with other women is something that I never imagined myself *needing* but it is so necessary for me. And these women! They're the best!
Well, that's about all the catching up I have time for right now because Levi wants to do some math worksheets (yeah!) and because he says his water is missing. Like it's this big mystery. So it's Inspector Mom off to search the shelves of the refridgerator. Until next time...

Eagle's Nest

I just had to pass along this link. Levi is absolutley fascinated!

Just Like A Real Mom

WeeBall practice started on Tuesday. It was hysterical! An ambulance drives by and the whole team stops to watch:) Levi had a ball (sorry about the goofy pun). I was a little worried that he would be nervous since he didn't know the coach or other kids on the team, but he was fine. My brave little guy:) He's so excited about being on a team and we had the best time watching him. The funniest part for me though came at the end of practice when the sign up sheet was past around for providing snacks. As I picked a day and signed my name I thought "wow, I'm signing up for snacks just like I saw my mom do a million times....just like A REAL MOM!" How long does one have to be a mom before one stops having these little lightbulb "I'm a mom" kind of moments:) Or do they just go on and on as the kids get bigger - "wow, I'm a mom," "wow, I'm the mom of a preschooler," "wow, I'm the mom of a kid who can read" and on and on? Whatever. I'm having a great time!

my 101 in 1001

I saw this idea over at Preschoolers and Peace and it looked like so much fun! I love lists anyway and I always have an ongoing to do list (aka my Master List). But since this is for a longer period of time (about 2 3/4 years) I can put some longer term goals on there and not feel bad when they're still on the list next summer. I started my list yesterday so my finish date will be Jack's third birthday. It's hard to imagine my tiny baby is ever going to be that big:( It was fun to think ahead about putting Levi in scouts and some feild trips we want to go on. I have about 30 things starred that I want to consentrate on over the next three months or so, some of which are pretty easy like growing out my hair to donate. It's growing while I type! I started to add "have another baby" to the list since I hope to within the time frame, but I thought I'd stick to things I have in my power and leave the miracles up to God. If any of y'all have a list, link to it for me in the comments. I'd love to check it out. And one more thing, I was inspired by many of the lists I read so if you see something that looks familiar...well, that's why:) So, in no particular order, here's the list.


Homeschool
1. Pray about our home school goals*
2. have a homeschool planning time
3. Get rid of unwanted hs materials
4. attend hs convention
5. join hslda
6. teach Levi to read
7. start having a regular school time*
8. have a big “starting homeschool” day this fall

Health & Safety
9. buy and take a quality vitamin everyday*
10. put together an emergency/disaster kit
11. put together a first aid kit*
12. serve a raw vegetable or fruit with every meal*
13. get a fire ladder and have a fire drill
14. do a detox after weaning Jack
15. drink only water for a week and see if I feel better*
16. buy and try stevia instead of sugar
17. take Levi to the dentist*
18. exercise 3x a week*
19. use only nontoxic cleansers in the house
20. Lose 60 lbs ( I can’t believe I wrote down the number!)
21. go to bed and get up earlier*

Homemaking
22. Hold a garage sale*
23. Make a family tree and hang it up in the house
24. Decorate the playroom
25. Decorate Mbed and Bath – make it a retreat
26. Get rid of unwanted toys*
27. Decorate the kids’ rooms
28. Fence in the yard
29. clean out my closet and get rid of all the clothes I don’t wear
30. get a new kitchen table and chairs
31. paint scripture on walls*
32. complete my black and white picture frame of all our family
33. decorate patio *
34. invite people over for supper at least 1x every other month*
35. organize storage room to hold outgrown kids’ clothing
36. learn how to make really good biscuits
37. learn how to make a great 14 layer cake
38. have Christmas presents made or bought and wrapped before Dec 1st
39. learn to cook cabbage the way Casey likes
40. put together a list of a months worth of well-liked meals
41. create and follow a workable cleaning schedule
42. make silhouettes of each of the kids to hang up
43. establish a chore chart for kids and use it*
44. keep meals in the freezer to take to people in need
45. pack an emergency diaper bag for the trunk*
46. read or get rid of all unread books
47. Reorganize all my books
48. make a price book for groceries & household stuff
49. grow an herb garden*
50. try once a month cooking
51. Pay off all debt except house

Family
52. sign Levi up for scouts
53. make Easter more meaningful – establish more traditions
54. take the kids to the zoo in Atlanta
55. take the kids to the aquarium in Atlanta
56. swim w/ kids
57. Start Brenna’s pearl necklace*
58. Take the kids to the beach
59. Verbally praise more than verbally correct*
60. teach kids good manners
61. Have a pajama ice cream run
62. Invite Bet to stay with us over the summer*
63. be at Bethany’s high school graduation
64. plan fun things with nieces and nephews
65. start a playgroup in our neighborhood
66. get a playhouse for Brenna
67. have a traditional picnic with Casey and kids

Church Family
68. Encourage someone at church every week*
69. Weekly praise a child that’s not my own
70. start a church library*
71. go to ladies retreat at least once
72. have a cookie decorating party for the kids at church

Personal
73. build a basic wardrobe
74. take better care of my skin
75. get teeth whitened
76. buy and wear really good makeup
77. get a cool shorter hairstyle
78. Take care of my nails*

Spiritual
79. Memorize 3 scriptures per week for a month*
80. Pray faithfully for family, church family and friends
81. Finish reading through the Bible
82. establish a daily Bible and prayer time and keep it consistently*

Casey
83. pray with Casey every day*
84. Pray for Casey daily (use POAPW)*
85. plan an overnight getaway for me and Casey

Service
86. be an active prayer partner for a volunteer at the pregnancy center*
87. find a way to volunteer at the pregnancy center
88. make shoeboxes at Christmas for the Christmas Child Project
89. sponsor a child
90. grow my hair to donate to Locks of Love*

Misc.
91. invite another woman over once every other month
92. get to know some neighbors
93. make a will and have it notorized (or whatever to make it official)
94. get a bigger vehicle
95. finish “baby” quilts for all three kids
96. learn more about the Old testament laws/ traditions
97. write something and submit it to be published
98. Write a letter explaining our “quiverfull” philosophy*
99. write 1 letter a month to friends or family
100. Don’t check email on weekends*
101. Catch up on scrapbooks

The Proverbs 31 Weekly Challenge

I've been following the Proverbs 31 Weekly Challenge for the last few weeks and it is doing me a world of good. Here are the verses I'm memorizing this week.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!
Matthew 7:11

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
John 15:5

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship.
Romans 12:1

I'm 30

Yippee!

I'm 30

Ugh.

Disappearing Comments

Some comments are mysteriously disappearing so, please, let me know if you've commented and it doesn't show up. Thanks, Holly, for pointing this out. Also if anyone has an idea about what might be wrong, I sure would appreciate the input:)

Me Time

I still haven't posted the pictures of the cleaned up areas. Y'all will just have to take my word for it - they got straightened, cleaned, and organized. And messed back up, but let's not get into that. God is certainly making good use of my kids to teach me lots of interesting character traits. And by interesting, I mean painful and totally against my nature. Being paitient, long-suffering, self-sacrificing... Well, let's just say that it's a testament to the life altering power of Christ that I even know what those words mean.
And I've been thinking a lot about the topic of being self-sacrificing. Staying at home with my babies has made it pretty clear that I have to get over myself. It doesn't matter how tired I am, when my baby girl has a nightmare I get up. It doesn't matter how many times Levi tests my paitience, I stay calm (or do my very best). No matter how sore I may be, if my baby needs to eat...well, y'all get the picture. But all I hear, all I read these days is about how I have to put myself first - take care of myself first so that I can take care of others. I always come back to the example of the oxygen mask in an airplane. No matter what your instincts say, you have to put the mask on yourself first so that you don't pass out and can put it on your child, right? So does that translate into real life? Should I always take care of myself first and make sure that all my own needs are met before I meet the needs of my children? I don't think so. At least not if we're defining needs the way our culture does. We have a long list of *needs* these days. My family's needs, both physical and emotional, do come first. Before mine. I hear a lot of women saying "well, I can't take care of my family if I don't take care of myself first." But frankly you can't take care of your family if you don't get up and take care of your family. They need me now - not when I'm done with my book or off the stairmaster (never really a big problem at my house!) or out of the bubble bath. It's not that there is anything wrong with taking care of one's self. In fact I firmly believe a mother should do whatever she can to keep herself in top working condition and that includes a lot of time for prayer, for study, for fellowship, for bubblebaths(yippee!!) and, yes, for exercise. But that has to be worked in without shortchanging our primary responsibilities. And it can be, I think. There's generally a lot of time for me to pray during the day. Motherhood seems to create opportunities - "please God, give me paitience. please, Lord, help me get this potty seat off my child's head. "please don't let that be a bug she just ate. please, let it be naptime!" But those are sort of snack prayers, grabbed on the run. For a meal sized prayer, I have to carve out time. But somehow it doesn't seem right to lock myself in a prayer closet while my children run wild outside. Caring for them has to come first. It's the same for all my other needs. They are important, some even neccessary, but I have to be creative about finding time for them.
All this is not to say I think my children should be under the impression that I revolve around them. I have no problem saying "Mommy is going to Ladies' meeting, you're staying with Daddy." I know it makes me a better mom when I'm supported and encouraged by other women. And I know they'll have a ball with their dad. But it always takes second place to their needs. If my husband or my kids needed me to stay home, the ladies would have to understand (and they do, that's the great thing about girlfriends).
So why is it so hard? Knowing all of this, why do I still pout when I can't do what I want? Why do I still act like such a martyr for doing what is really just basic mommy stuff? Well, if I had to guess, I'd say it's because I am still very, VERY human - full of selfishness and greed. Yuck. But what wonderful little teachers God has sent me! They too pout when they don't get their way. And, hey, at least I don't lie in the floor and kick my feet and scream "Iwantit!It'smine!Idon'twanttoshare!" Well, not since I've seen how silly it looks anyway:) So God's growing me. He has His work cut out for Him though.

The cleanup goes on

I need to get some after pictures up. The toy room is much more organized and the kids are having a much easier time keeping it that way. We still need more (inexpensive) storage though so we're looking into that. But paying bills gets priority so I may be finding ways to make do for a little while longer. What bothers me the most about this room is the blank walls. One wall is largely covered by the computer armoire, but there are two other small walls and one very long wall that sit totally empty. Since the room is completely visable from the living room, I've been hesitant to hang anything, but it's really time. I want something very kid friendly (it is, after all, a playroom) but nice enough for grown ups, too. Any ideas are welcome!

Here are the rest of the pictures.

 

Cleaning House

First let me just say that my house is often messy. I make no excuses, that's just life in my house. Since my hubby is a neat-freak extrordinairre, I almost always have it clean by the time he sees it. Yesterday was a sick day though - not just me, but the kids too. And it was raining and yucky. And I feel asleep on the couch without doing my last cleaning push before bed. So when I woke up this morning, naturally I went to the computer instead of jumping right in :> Turns out it was a good thing, though, since I read this from Chief Executive Mom. She has some great tips for Spring Cleaning that I'm going to be applying today. I thought before and after pictures would be a great idea. Very motivating. SO here are my big messy spots - the kid's playroom and my bookshelf (actually those are hubby's guitar magazine across the bottom, but the rest is mine) of stuff. So pray for me as I try to bring in some order!
P.S. My kitchen is also quite a mess, but there are limits to how much I'm willing to share.

Baby Jack and his quilt

My mom's friend, Betty, made Jack this beautiful quilt. It's got his monogram at the top and his birthdate and weight and the bottom - his full name is on the back - on antique fabric. It's just beautiful. The colors don't show up as well in the picture, but they're just gorgeous: pale blue, green and gold and white. Honestly, it looks like something a little prince would have:) He looks tiny in this picture, but he's actually growing pretty well - I only had to roll the sleeves once! 

Doing our best...

In my quest to do a better job taking care of my family, I've been searching for information and inspiration far and wide. This post of Lady Lydia's was a wonderful call-to-arms today.

Good News about Jack

The specialist found nothing physicly wrong with his nose or throat! I'm so thankful for that! We still don't know what's causing the noise, so of course I'm still concerned. But it doesn't seem to be anything severe. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers - it's really meant a lot to me!

I can be so ditzy sometimes.

At some point over these last few week, I accidently turned on the comment moderator! So all kinds of great comments were just sitting over there waiting on me for no good reason. And I was pouting because I figured everyone had forgotten about me! Like I said, such a ditz.
So... thank you all for commenting! And for being paitient with me:) I'm going back to comment on your comments now!

I haven't been around much lately...

I've been really busy with Baby Jack. He has what we think is larynomalagia (a "floppy" larnyx) causing him to make a funny noise sometimes when he breathes. He's actually done it since he was born - it's just becoming more frequent and more severe sounding. So there've been doctor appointments and chest x-rays and nights of me just watching him breathe. We finally get to see the pediatric ear, nose and throat guy in the morning and I am so...excited. That word seems so strange applied to a doctor's appointment, but I really can't wait to get a definite diagnosis and to know what I can do! I really pray that the doctor will have a diagnosis for us and that there will be something we can do - the mommy in me just wants to fix this! But more than anything I just want to rest in the knowledge that my God is good and He is in control. The peace He gives is so powerful - I panic, in my human-ness, and I can feel His arms embrace me. I can't imagine living my life without my Father.

Just A Mom

This segment on ABC's Good Morning America has a lot of stay-at-home moms really up in arms. The guest, Linda Hirshman, has basically declared that raising children and running a home are not worthwhile pursuits for an educated woman. That we owe it to feminism to work and that our place is in an office. That, in fact, staying home is not an option women should be allowed to choose.
This article is a very good overview of her position and of why she's just so wrong, so I won't go into all that right now. What I want to talk about is this quote. When confronted by women who say that staying home to be wives and mothers is the most fulfilling thing they could do, Ms. Hirshman has this to say...
"I would like to see a description of their daily lives that substantiates that position," she said. "One of the things I've done working on my book is to read a lot of the diaries online, and their description of their lives does not sound particularly interesting or fulfilling for a complicated person, for a complicated, educated person."
Let's nevermind for a moment that she's calling me "uncomplicated" (the educated woman's code word for stupid) and that she assumes her definition of interesting and fulfilling should go for everyone. What's so striking to me is that we do, as a culture, believe that "homemaker" is about as dull an occupation as there could be. We value home and hearth and family so little that this woman believed she could get away with calling for women to be unable to choose staying home. And she's gotten national exposure for this idea. Can you imagine Good Morning America doing a segment on someone who didn't believe women should be allowed to work? Could a person get on national television saying that women were letting down society by going to work?
But frankly I have to say that I'm grateful to Ms Hirshman, at least in some small part for opening my eyes. I guess part of me really thought that with so many intelligent, educated women of my generation choosing to stay home, that we were past the point where making a home and raising children was seen as a big dull waste of time. I thought at the very least we'd progressed to a point where most people viewed it as an equal option to working full time. But clearly the idea that I am "just" a housewife or "just" a mom is still going strong out there. So what do I do? Do I go door to door defending myself with studies that show children are better off when mom stays home? Do I turn on the moms I know who work - my own mom included - in an effort to make myself feel better? I don't think so. I don't have time to go around proving how fulfilled I am or fighting to make everyone take me seriously. And no way am I going to pretend that every minute of my day is mentally challenging and stimulating - no one who's ever swept the kitchen floor nine times a day would buy that anyway. But I can do all those things that make this a fulfilling profession instead of sitting around watching Dr Phil and parking the kids in front of Sponge Bob. And I can make sure I keep my own attitude straight. I can know in my head and heart that what I'm doing is worthwhile. I can really believe that my job is as noble a calling as being a missionary or brain surgeon or Supreme Court justice. And I can let my actions and my speech reflect that. Never again, NEVER AGAIN, will I say I'm "just a mom."

Being a single Mom

Y'all know I'm not really, but with DH working so much lately it sure is starting to feel like it. He's been working at least 60 hours a week lately and with a brand new baby, the timing couldn't be much worse. This isn't a post to whine, though:) Although that's what I'm in the mood for this morning since my microwave just up and died on me in the middle of making my popcorn. The house was already smelling yummy and the kids were all excited, but we only wound up with a small handful a piece:( Oh, I said I wasn't whining. Never mind. What I wanted to say is how much God is growing me during all of this. He has so much work to do in me! Years ago when we only had one baby and it took me all day to get us dressed and out of the house, I complained all the time about how much my hubby worked. Never mind that his incredible work ethic is exactly what made it possible for me to stay at home with our baby. I was always cranky about "having to do everything myself" and "never getting to go anywhere." If he was home I expected him to keep the baby so I could buy groceries or run errands or even just clean up - all the things I should've been doing while he was at work so that we could spend his off time together. But over the last few years God has really been speaking to me about my job as a mom, a wife, and a homemaker. Basically, He's been calling me lazy:) If someone else said it I might have a thousand example to defend myself with, but when the God of the Universe speaks to me I don't bother. He's right. I am lazy. I mean, I'd been getting by. My house was usually fairly clean - or at least I could get it clean pretty quick if we were having company. The kids were fed and clean and happy. But even when I got things done, I was being such a martyr - "look how much I managed to do even though you I had to take care of these kids at the same time!" But this is my life. I'm not just killing time here, trying to keep our heads above water. We should be swimming along, even floating:)
So I've made some changes. I don't doubt God could *cure* me of this sin (laziness is a sin) overnight, but I think He intends for me work through it, leaning on Him the whole way. So I'm going to. I know I can't run this house or raise these kids on my own. I can't even get my heiny off the couch on my own:) But by His strength, I can move mountains - even Mt Washmore.

Please pray for Molly

Her little boy is very sick. I think any mother can imagine the pain of watching our little ones suffer. It's just more than we can bare on our own. Please pray Molly and her husband have the strength to get through this and for her precious little boy's recovery.

A New Computer

Wow! Hubby is wonderful! We got a new computer for Valentine's Day (and a new bed, but I'm not posting about that!) and it's so fast that I might be able to sqeeze in a post every now and then:)

Becoming a mom

I know this is going to sound crazy for a woman with three kids to say, but I now really feel like a mother. Not that I didn't before exactly. After Levi was born I remember very specifically when it hit me that I was his mother. He'd just been circumcised and was in the nursery crying his little lungs out when I walked past the door. Just from hearing his cry I knew that was my baby and when I went in he stopped crying as soon as he heard my voice. I've always felt connected to Levi and Brenna and, now to Jack - very much THEIR mother. But now I feel like *a* mother, part of the motherhood society. Now I feel like people see a mother when they see me, whether my kids are with me or not. It isn't that I've become only a mother, as if there is no other side to me. It's more that I'm beginning to feel at home in this role. Comfortable with it. I'm okay that the college kids ask me where things are in the grocery store (obviously I'm there a lot, right?) and that to a lot of people under the age of six my name might as well be "Levi's mom." It doesn't bother me (much) anymore that I can't wear the spiky heels at the back of my closet since I have a baby to tote and a toddler to chase (and they don't fit since my feet grow with each pregnancy). I'm a mom. It doesn't mean that I'm old or frumpy or dull, but it does mean something. Something I'm just starting to figure out.

Reorganization

The first time I had a baby, my life turned completely upside down. It was literally as if I had one life before he was born and a new one started when I brought him home. I quit my job to stay home with him (although that was not our original plan) and, due to the fact that I really didn't know what I was doing, I basically sat on the couch and got to know my baby for a couple of months. Then I slowly started trying to figure out how to be a mom, run a house, live on one paycheck, and still pay attention to my wonderful hubby. God knew what He was doing when He gave me two and a half years to get some experience with one baby before He sent Brenna. There was a pretty high learning curve after Brenna, too. Not only was I going from one kid to two, I was adding on a baby who is what we affectionately call "high maintenance."
So while I was getting ready for little Jack to be born, I expected there to be a good bit of shuffling schedules and re-thinking of routines. But this time instead of being overwhelmed by it dreading it, I'm actually looking forward to it. I can't wait to get a fresh perspective on how we do things and what's working and what won't work for now. I've gotten a little more at ease about speaking up about what I can do and what I can't do. I had to give up a couple of "jobs" at the church when Brenna was born and it was really upsetting for me. I felt guilty about it and, unfortunately, that gave other people the idea that I should feel guilty about it. But since I realized that God made me a mother and that His priorities for me now may be different and since I started repeating that to myself everyday:), I've discovered a whole realm of ways to serve from home or with my kids that I hadn't even thought of before. For example, I recently started making the bread for communion and it is such a blessing for me. I love to bake, but it's something I tend to do for others - to cheer them up, to impress them (this is a real problem for me sometimes), even occasionally to bribe them:) But this is something just between Christ and I. And I might have never thought to volunteer until I realized that I needed to move from being in the "outfront" kinds of service to being more behind the scenes.
A lot of things need reorganizing around here, frankly. Pregnancy is always a rough time for me and towards the end I'm pretty much in survival mode. So now that I've freed up all of that time I was spending throwing up, I have time to get things back in shape around here - or rather in a new shape. Our family has grown and changed so it's my job to figure out the best way to roll with it. More laundry, needing to nurse when I should be cooking supper, taking three kids to the grocery store...It may sound irrational, but I sure am having fun:)

Colds/Flu strikes the Miller home

This is a lousy time for us to get sick, but sick is what we are. Levi's on the upswing from full on flu - including all the fun stomach symptoms. Casey and Brenna have colds with coughs and baby and I are just stuffed up. I think we'll all survive, but with Casey working overtime I sure am having some sleepless nights. The irony is that I've only left the house 2 times since we've been home in an effort to keep Jack from catching anything and we still got sick. All this cabinfever for nothing!
But it could be so much worse. My friend's baby, born 4 days before Jack, is having surgery today for a stomach problem. I can only imagine the pain of watching a tiny baby struggle with a serious problem like that. The heel sticks to check Jack for jaundice were traumatic for me - I can't imagine IVs and surgery. If y'all will, I know she'd really appreciate prayer for little Luke.
So we're recovering - hopefully enough to avoid the doctor's office, which is where I think this came from. Is it any wonder I try to stay out of there?

Baby Jack (long!)

I'm typing this one handed so y'all bear with me:) I just wanted to (finally) fill everyone in on our very busy week!
Jack's birth really didn't go like I planned, but, Praise God!, he's here safe and sound. Last Thursday night (the 12th) I laid in bed all night having a lot of what I assumed were more Braxton Hicks contractions - painful as always, but irregular. Hubby was at work so he missed out on my grumpiness, for awhile. The next morning, the kids and I slept late - til 8, that's late at our house. By the time I got them breakfast the contractions were getting a lot closer together and more regular so I laid down to try to get them to stop - still thinking it was just false labor. This is what's commonly known as denial. I finally started calling hubby at 10 when the pains were ten minutes apart and veeerrrry painful. When I called my doctor he wanted me to come into the office to be put on a monitor. Not what I wanted to hear. The monitor? Did this guy not understand I was in labor?!? All of a sudden I was getting very sure that we were headed directly for a baby here and I needed to get myself to the hospital.
Hubby brought his mom home with him to keep the kids and we jumped in the car - no shower, no bag, no nuthin' - and headed to the doctor's office an hour away. Let's just say it was a long drive. We had to keep pulling over so I could be sick (such fun for the people passing us I'm sure). And I was extremely cranky at this point - crying, ranting, raving. I was trying to behave myself, but...let's just say it was not a pretty picture, but hubby stuck with me:)
By the time we got close to the doctor's office, he had called the cell phone to send us on over to the hospital where he was waiting on us. After he checked me, we were all glad I'd gone there first. I was only dilated to a four, but the contractions were only 3 minutes apart. With my first pregnancy I went from 4 cm to needing to push in what seemed like seconds - although I wound up with a c-section anyway. So I may have delivered at the doctor's office had we gone there first. But since we were at the hospital everything went smoothly. I was scheduled for a repeat section for medical reasons so we went ahead with that, but I was much more relaxed and "in control" feeling this time. I got the spinal instead of the epidural - for some reason they always try to push that epidural, and I liked it fine after I got it, but I couldn't go through getting the thing again. Last time it took three very painful tries. The spinal was much easier. Hubby was a little nervous because there was no one there with us yet - we usually have quite a crowd lining the halls. I made him promise to stay with the baby - even if he had to be transferred to another hospital, so he was very worried about having to leave me all alone. My grandparents made it just in time, though.
The surgery itself went really smoothly. The doctor's and nurses were wonderful and worked hard to try to give me the kind of birth I wanted. The only hitch was lowering the curtain in time for me to see the baby sliding out. They lowered it in time, but had to yank it back up to keep the little guy from peeing in my face:) My nausea was still going strong and let me just tell you - throwing up when you're numb from the breastbone down and your insides are on the outside is quite an experience. And not a good one. On a positive (I guess) note, we did discover one anti-nausea medication that works for me (instead of making it worse!) - after trying everything else.
Jack's Apgars were wonderful, but he did have to stay in NICU for about five hours due to some breathing problems. He seems just fine now, but I'm still being a little extra cautious with him - washing hands before visitors hold him, staying home for these first few weeks, the stuff other moms do with every baby:) He's sleeping a lot and doesn't seem to nurse as much as my first two, but he's gaining pretty quickly. He was back up to his birth weight within a week, in spite of serious jaundice.
I just can't find the words to get across how blessed I feel. God is so good! I'm just in awe of Him and His creation. The way He's cared for me and for this precious new life is just more than I can really comprehend. I'm so amazed that this little person fit inside me - how is it that a week and a half ago I felt so huge and now I can imagine how I was carrying this little guy around in me! Nothing compares to knowing that God knit this little one together in me and then protected us both through the whole process of growing him and bringing him into the world! Have I said it before? God is SOOO good!

Jack Warnock Miller is here ...

and he's beautiful! A little early (3 1/2 weeks), but he was 7lbs and 3 oz. I can't wait to fill in all the details, but it's a little hectic right now so I'll get back to you. In the meantime, just let me say God is so good!

I'm kind of hungry...

This is a very good sign. For some reason I am sick for at least the first 35 weeks of pregnancy. I don't just mean I wake up a little nauseous. I mean even the thought of food makes me violently ill. I struggle to keep down things like saltines and ice. But the last few weeks I start to get a little bit of my appetite back and I actually start to gain back a little of the weight I've been steadily losing for the last 9 1/2 months. My doctor is usually thrilled. I'm still sick, but not as much.
So I woke up today and, after throwing up, actually craved a grapefruit. And a grilled ham and cheese. And for dinner tonight .... I cooked! Something better than chicken tenders and fries! Chicken marsala, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, sauteed spinach (with more garlic), and homemade (that's right, I said homemade) bread. And it was good. I missed cooking.

Is anyone else ready to get going on 2006?

I have an almost strange amount of energy this morning - well for someone this pregnant, anyway:) I have so many projects I can't wait to get started on and/or finish up - and of course I want to get it all done before our new little guy gets here.
We're working on redecorating in the kid's rooms. Levi has his own "big boy" room with a transportation theme. We're working on painting a train on his wall with the "train up a child" verse over it. He's really excited about painting on the walls:) Brenna and Baby will share a room (when he moves out of our room, anyway). It has a sort of princess and the frog theme. Lots of little froggies with crowns.
We're also working on switching Brenna from the crib to a toddler bed. After much consideration we finally decided it would be better to get her used to the toddler bed before the baby gets here, even though he won't be in the crib for a little while. We have a cradle (handmade by my grandfather for our first baby) that goes in our room, but most of the time new babies sleep with us. We usually transition to the crib after a couple of months.
I'm organizing the playroom/schoolroom. It's a disaster. Before Christmas I weeded out all of the unused and or broken toys (as well as a few things I just didn't like) to make room for the influx from family members who love to spoil my kids:) But I didn't clear out enough! We're working on some new shelves like these for books and some new storage for toys - some of the tiny stuff is even going in Levi's room in a rolling set of plastic drawers. They really got some great gifts though - a lot of educational stuff and toys with great play potential. Our favorite so far is the huge "sand"box that Casey made for Levi. It's actually filled with peagravel making it perfect for building roads with Levi's nine million Tonka trucks and much neater than sand. It's actually big enough for Levi and Casey to play in:)
I've already started reorganizing my household notebook and reworking some of our routines for these last few weeks before baby and the first few weeks after. I've really revamped my menu and grocery list making sections since Casey is taking over the grocery shopping for a little while. Grocery shopping is actually one of my favorite jobs, but right now I'm having trouble walking very far at all. And, while the kids are actually very well behaved (most of the time) in the store, it's still just not much fun hauling little ones in and out. So since Casey can run in first thing in the morning when he gets off work, I'm taking full advantage. I'll still be doing all the planning - but that's pretty easy from the couch!
I've definitely started to hit that nesting phase, although probably not at full stride just yet. Just a few weeks left to go though - and that's if there are no surprises:) I have this week "off" from going to the doctor, but next week I go in for a biophysical profile. I love the ultrasound part of this - staring for 1/2 an hour at my baby is so wonderful. We actually just had an ultrasound last week, which my mom got to be with us for. The little guy appears to have a head full of hair, not surprisingly since my other two did, too. But the wonderful tech who does ultrasounds for my doctor is convinced that this little guy's hair is curly:) And we got a fabulous picture of his foot. His second toe is longer than his big toe, which my granny says means he will rule the roost:) That sounds good to me! All these little peaks inside just make me itch to get my hands on him. I can hardly wait!
Our year is off to a running start it seems like. Well, maybe more like a fast waddle for me:) But at least I'm moving in the right direction!