It's been a few weeks since I checked in and that's because...(big surprise) I fell off the wagon. Being sick and having sick kids and a few other stresses were just perfect excuses to soothe myself with food (and, if you've eaten a bag of pizza rolls and drank a couple of cokes, why bother exercising, right?). But I have renewed my committment and the fight goes on:) I have spent a lot of time praying about this especially over the last few days and it's finally sunk in to me that I'm addicted to eating. Not to food - to eating.
See I was thinking about why I don't drink alcohol. It's not because I think it's a sin - I don't. If Christ drank wine, that's good enough for me. I do believe drunkeness is a sin, but that's a whole other topic. Anyway. The reason I just don't drink is that I have a family history of alcoholism and I've always wanted to avoid even the possibility of being addicted to alcohol. And, by His grace alone, I have. But I seem to have replaced drinking alcohol with eating. When I've had a stressful day, I literally can't wait to sit down and "snack." If I'm out of something I want to eat, I'll make a special trip. That's right, for a coke and chips I will load up three kids and face the grocery store. Now if that's not addiction, I don't know what is!
So once again I'll have to call on my Father. I just. can't. do. this. by. myself. I need the strength to turn away from the temptation. I need the peace only He gives when my day has been long. I need to rest in Him, not at the dinner table.