Sunday, November 11, 2012

I don't like to whine, but...

this has been a stressful and emotional few weeks.  I may come back and delete this post later because I really don't like to be negative here.  However, using my words really helps! 

I'm very thankful that Casey has had a lot of overtime for the last few months.  So many people are without jobs right now, that I don't dare complain about having too much work.  That being said, overtime is hard on everyone, especially when it lasts for months at a time.  We've been managing just fine, but there's this constant state of high-alert that wears on you. 

And then Barbara passed away so unexpectedly.  I was surprised at how deeply saddened I was by the loss of someone I had never even had the pleasure of meeting in person.  As I looked back over the years we had known each other (almost 8), I realized that the conversations we had over email had a huge impact on me and we had talked over many topics that I wasn't even comfortable talking to close friends about.  Barbara went deep, quick and I think that made it very easy to feel close to her.  She is very missed.

This pregnancy has been so sweet and so shockingly easy.  It's been such a blessing, as a matter of fact, that I can't believe I'm adding it to this list.  My blood pressure has been creeping up, though, which is worrisome.  And at my last two appointments the doctor has had a hard time finding the babies heart rate.  The baby is fine, with a nice, strong heart beat, but is apparently hiding in a "corner" of his or her little home.  Lying there, waiting, is enough to reduce me to tears.  I was scheduled for a sonogram on Friday, but the sonographer was out sick.  I was so disappointed!  Casey had taken a day off so he could be there and everything!  We did get to go out to lunch, though, thanks to a very, very sweet friend who kept all of the kids (as well as putting dishes away and washing my laundry - she is awesome!). 

And we decided to have a yardsale.  For cryin' out loud.

On yardsale day, Casey massively hurt his back.  He was completely out of commission for days and in pain all week.  It's hard to see one's big strong husband in pain.

And, of course, there was the election.  Probably the less said about that, the better.

And then, just when I thought I was going to be able to go with my mom and sister on a little (very much needed!) over-night getaway - to the beach no less! - I somehow managed to seriously mess up my knee.  One second, I'm fine.  Next second, screaming in pain.  I do seem to be recuperating quickly and, hopefully, I'll still get to spend lots of time with my mom and baby sister this week.  But words fail to describe how much I was looking forward to this trip. 

I feel like there's some purpose, some lesson I should be learning.  Contentment? Grace under pressure?  In the meantime, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Or, I will.  As soon as my knee heals up.