Monday, October 02, 2006
Monday check in
I sit here in awe at the power of my Father. Something that seemed like an impossible goal last week, by His strength, was a breeze. An absolute breeze! I have a real hard time not turning to food for stress relief. An especially big problem was that quiet time when the kids are in bed and Casey's just left for work. Every night as soon as it got quiet, I'd think "now I can grab a book and sit down and eat something!" The bigger the stress or better the book, the longer I'd want to stay at the table reading and eating. And then I'd go to bed. So that ain't healthy. Last Sunday night I really prayed about this and through the whole week I didn't eat after supper even once. I'll admit to being tempted a time or two, but it was amazingly easy to say "I don't eat after supper any more" and walk away. As if...the food didn't have any hold over me any more! Now the day time was still chaotic and I didn't really pay much attention to what I ate then (beyond making sure I wasn't eating between mealtimes). But I couldn't believe how much of a difference praying about this (and the prayers of lots of others, THANK YOU!) made this last week. It's really reaffirmed for me that God does really desire for me to do this, and that He really is willing to actively help me. He isn't just up there handing me assignments and then leaving me to my own devices to accomplish them. And since I know He will help me, I'm feeling brave enough to tackle what I think will be the toughest challenge of this whole thing. This is a behaviour that is absolutley ingrained in me - I've been doing this for as long as I can remember and I'll admit I love it. I don't really even like the idea of giving it up, but I know I need to. And I know I'll need a lot of prayer to be able to! This week, starting now, I'm no longer going to read while I eat. Whoo. I'm going to be real honest here. The idea of eating without reading holds no appeal for me. I can't even imagine just sitting down and eating something without anything else to do. The only time I ever don't read while I eat is when we're all at supper. At breakfast and lunch I usually talk to the kids while they eat and then when they're done, I grab a book and whatever I'm going to eat. SO this is going to be a large shift in how I do things. Please pray for me if you feel led to. I sure would appreciate it!