Well, I guess not "nearly," but it still scared me pretty good. We were with our church at a picnic at my sister-in-law's yesterday and a lot of people, kids and grownups, were in the pool. Levi is still in that "I want to play with the water, but I'm still to chicken to get in" faze so I don't have to worry about him being in the pool - just around it. Anyway we had just gotten there and I was looking around for his swimmies (I make him wear them just in case when he's around the pool). He was just out of my reach when he leaned over to fill his watergun and ... in he went head first. I don't think I've ever felt my heart just stop like that. I don't remember if I screamed or what. Thank God, Eric ( a foreign exchange student from our college group) was right there. He's really great with kids anyway, but he caught Levi just as he went under and plopped him right back on the deck just as I got to him. Levi looked so scared - it broke my heart - but he wasn't going to cry! He sat down with me just for a minute to let me wipe out his eyes where the chlorine stung, but then he went right back to playing (but NOT close to the pool).
I tried to stay real calm about it - we've always kind of said "oh, you're allright" and tried to encourage him not to get too scared to try things. That seems to work well for him (with exception for the very few times he's been really hurt - then we pour on the sympathy for as long as he needs it). But after he went back to playing I had to sit down. I don't know when I've been so shaken up. It wasn't as if he was in danger of drowning - there were probably twelve people in an above-ground pool - it was just the sudden realization that he could drown or that something else terrible could happen to him. How irrational I can be - other people's children get sick or get hurt. Not mine. But I got a powerful lesson yesterday about something I thought I knew. Not only are we not promised tomorrow, we aren't promised our children for tomorrow either. My children aren't mine, they're loaned to me from my Father and one day He will call them home. I selfishly pray that He'll take me first and that they'll have long full lives and go quietly in there sleep. But I must remember to live each day with them as if it is a gift, because it is a gift. So today I'll hug them a little tighter and play with them a little longer and I'll try to remember not to take them for granted.
Monday, June 06, 2005
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