I got some bad news at the doctor today about Jack. He is developing fine as far as milestones and motor skills, but he is too, too small. Not quite 15 lbs at a year. With all of his relux and allergies, he just has not been able to gain weight. SO his doctor and I talked and talked about various ways to plump him up and, while she's very nice, I left feeling guilty and scared and like the world's worst mother.
But that was actually not even the worst thing to happen to me today, because Jack can be helped. With meds and a very determined mommy, he will gain some weight! No the worst thing that happened to me today didn't really happen to me at all. I was a witness to a horrible wreck. Sitting at a red-light, just me and Jack in the car, I watched and did nothing as several people were severely, if not fatally, injured. I watched as an expedition flipped over and landed ON the car next to me. Many people were on hand to help and I stayed until I filled out a report and was sure there was nothing I could do to help. I prayed. I don't know if I've ever felt as helpless as I did today.
And yet I have so much to thank God for tonight. I'm thankful that I could pray for the people in those cars. I'm thankful that the ambulance and police were there almost instantly. I'm thankful that we were not hurt, that Levi and Brenna weren't with me to witness the accident. I'm thankful that Jack has a doctor to go to and that we can buy medicine to help him. Lord, I am so grateful that it wasn't us in that wreck and I pray that you will be with those who were.