The cleanup goes on

I need to get some after pictures up. The toy room is much more organized and the kids are having a much easier time keeping it that way. We still need more (inexpensive) storage though so we're looking into that. But paying bills gets priority so I may be finding ways to make do for a little while longer. What bothers me the most about this room is the blank walls. One wall is largely covered by the computer armoire, but there are two other small walls and one very long wall that sit totally empty. Since the room is completely visable from the living room, I've been hesitant to hang anything, but it's really time. I want something very kid friendly (it is, after all, a playroom) but nice enough for grown ups, too. Any ideas are welcome!

Here are the rest of the pictures.

 

Cleaning House

First let me just say that my house is often messy. I make no excuses, that's just life in my house. Since my hubby is a neat-freak extrordinairre, I almost always have it clean by the time he sees it. Yesterday was a sick day though - not just me, but the kids too. And it was raining and yucky. And I feel asleep on the couch without doing my last cleaning push before bed. So when I woke up this morning, naturally I went to the computer instead of jumping right in :> Turns out it was a good thing, though, since I read this from Chief Executive Mom. She has some great tips for Spring Cleaning that I'm going to be applying today. I thought before and after pictures would be a great idea. Very motivating. SO here are my big messy spots - the kid's playroom and my bookshelf (actually those are hubby's guitar magazine across the bottom, but the rest is mine) of stuff. So pray for me as I try to bring in some order!
P.S. My kitchen is also quite a mess, but there are limits to how much I'm willing to share.

Baby Jack and his quilt

My mom's friend, Betty, made Jack this beautiful quilt. It's got his monogram at the top and his birthdate and weight and the bottom - his full name is on the back - on antique fabric. It's just beautiful. The colors don't show up as well in the picture, but they're just gorgeous: pale blue, green and gold and white. Honestly, it looks like something a little prince would have:) He looks tiny in this picture, but he's actually growing pretty well - I only had to roll the sleeves once! 

Doing our best...

In my quest to do a better job taking care of my family, I've been searching for information and inspiration far and wide. This post of Lady Lydia's was a wonderful call-to-arms today.

Good News about Jack

The specialist found nothing physicly wrong with his nose or throat! I'm so thankful for that! We still don't know what's causing the noise, so of course I'm still concerned. But it doesn't seem to be anything severe. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers - it's really meant a lot to me!

I can be so ditzy sometimes.

At some point over these last few week, I accidently turned on the comment moderator! So all kinds of great comments were just sitting over there waiting on me for no good reason. And I was pouting because I figured everyone had forgotten about me! Like I said, such a ditz.
So... thank you all for commenting! And for being paitient with me:) I'm going back to comment on your comments now!

I haven't been around much lately...

I've been really busy with Baby Jack. He has what we think is larynomalagia (a "floppy" larnyx) causing him to make a funny noise sometimes when he breathes. He's actually done it since he was born - it's just becoming more frequent and more severe sounding. So there've been doctor appointments and chest x-rays and nights of me just watching him breathe. We finally get to see the pediatric ear, nose and throat guy in the morning and I am so...excited. That word seems so strange applied to a doctor's appointment, but I really can't wait to get a definite diagnosis and to know what I can do! I really pray that the doctor will have a diagnosis for us and that there will be something we can do - the mommy in me just wants to fix this! But more than anything I just want to rest in the knowledge that my God is good and He is in control. The peace He gives is so powerful - I panic, in my human-ness, and I can feel His arms embrace me. I can't imagine living my life without my Father.

Just A Mom

This segment on ABC's Good Morning America has a lot of stay-at-home moms really up in arms. The guest, Linda Hirshman, has basically declared that raising children and running a home are not worthwhile pursuits for an educated woman. That we owe it to feminism to work and that our place is in an office. That, in fact, staying home is not an option women should be allowed to choose.
This article is a very good overview of her position and of why she's just so wrong, so I won't go into all that right now. What I want to talk about is this quote. When confronted by women who say that staying home to be wives and mothers is the most fulfilling thing they could do, Ms. Hirshman has this to say...
"I would like to see a description of their daily lives that substantiates that position," she said. "One of the things I've done working on my book is to read a lot of the diaries online, and their description of their lives does not sound particularly interesting or fulfilling for a complicated person, for a complicated, educated person."
Let's nevermind for a moment that she's calling me "uncomplicated" (the educated woman's code word for stupid) and that she assumes her definition of interesting and fulfilling should go for everyone. What's so striking to me is that we do, as a culture, believe that "homemaker" is about as dull an occupation as there could be. We value home and hearth and family so little that this woman believed she could get away with calling for women to be unable to choose staying home. And she's gotten national exposure for this idea. Can you imagine Good Morning America doing a segment on someone who didn't believe women should be allowed to work? Could a person get on national television saying that women were letting down society by going to work?
But frankly I have to say that I'm grateful to Ms Hirshman, at least in some small part for opening my eyes. I guess part of me really thought that with so many intelligent, educated women of my generation choosing to stay home, that we were past the point where making a home and raising children was seen as a big dull waste of time. I thought at the very least we'd progressed to a point where most people viewed it as an equal option to working full time. But clearly the idea that I am "just" a housewife or "just" a mom is still going strong out there. So what do I do? Do I go door to door defending myself with studies that show children are better off when mom stays home? Do I turn on the moms I know who work - my own mom included - in an effort to make myself feel better? I don't think so. I don't have time to go around proving how fulfilled I am or fighting to make everyone take me seriously. And no way am I going to pretend that every minute of my day is mentally challenging and stimulating - no one who's ever swept the kitchen floor nine times a day would buy that anyway. But I can do all those things that make this a fulfilling profession instead of sitting around watching Dr Phil and parking the kids in front of Sponge Bob. And I can make sure I keep my own attitude straight. I can know in my head and heart that what I'm doing is worthwhile. I can really believe that my job is as noble a calling as being a missionary or brain surgeon or Supreme Court justice. And I can let my actions and my speech reflect that. Never again, NEVER AGAIN, will I say I'm "just a mom."

Being a single Mom

Y'all know I'm not really, but with DH working so much lately it sure is starting to feel like it. He's been working at least 60 hours a week lately and with a brand new baby, the timing couldn't be much worse. This isn't a post to whine, though:) Although that's what I'm in the mood for this morning since my microwave just up and died on me in the middle of making my popcorn. The house was already smelling yummy and the kids were all excited, but we only wound up with a small handful a piece:( Oh, I said I wasn't whining. Never mind. What I wanted to say is how much God is growing me during all of this. He has so much work to do in me! Years ago when we only had one baby and it took me all day to get us dressed and out of the house, I complained all the time about how much my hubby worked. Never mind that his incredible work ethic is exactly what made it possible for me to stay at home with our baby. I was always cranky about "having to do everything myself" and "never getting to go anywhere." If he was home I expected him to keep the baby so I could buy groceries or run errands or even just clean up - all the things I should've been doing while he was at work so that we could spend his off time together. But over the last few years God has really been speaking to me about my job as a mom, a wife, and a homemaker. Basically, He's been calling me lazy:) If someone else said it I might have a thousand example to defend myself with, but when the God of the Universe speaks to me I don't bother. He's right. I am lazy. I mean, I'd been getting by. My house was usually fairly clean - or at least I could get it clean pretty quick if we were having company. The kids were fed and clean and happy. But even when I got things done, I was being such a martyr - "look how much I managed to do even though you I had to take care of these kids at the same time!" But this is my life. I'm not just killing time here, trying to keep our heads above water. We should be swimming along, even floating:)
So I've made some changes. I don't doubt God could *cure* me of this sin (laziness is a sin) overnight, but I think He intends for me work through it, leaning on Him the whole way. So I'm going to. I know I can't run this house or raise these kids on my own. I can't even get my heiny off the couch on my own:) But by His strength, I can move mountains - even Mt Washmore.

Please pray for Molly

Her little boy is very sick. I think any mother can imagine the pain of watching our little ones suffer. It's just more than we can bare on our own. Please pray Molly and her husband have the strength to get through this and for her precious little boy's recovery.

A New Computer

Wow! Hubby is wonderful! We got a new computer for Valentine's Day (and a new bed, but I'm not posting about that!) and it's so fast that I might be able to sqeeze in a post every now and then:)

Becoming a mom

I know this is going to sound crazy for a woman with three kids to say, but I now really feel like a mother. Not that I didn't before exactly. After Levi was born I remember very specifically when it hit me that I was his mother. He'd just been circumcised and was in the nursery crying his little lungs out when I walked past the door. Just from hearing his cry I knew that was my baby and when I went in he stopped crying as soon as he heard my voice. I've always felt connected to Levi and Brenna and, now to Jack - very much THEIR mother. But now I feel like *a* mother, part of the motherhood society. Now I feel like people see a mother when they see me, whether my kids are with me or not. It isn't that I've become only a mother, as if there is no other side to me. It's more that I'm beginning to feel at home in this role. Comfortable with it. I'm okay that the college kids ask me where things are in the grocery store (obviously I'm there a lot, right?) and that to a lot of people under the age of six my name might as well be "Levi's mom." It doesn't bother me (much) anymore that I can't wear the spiky heels at the back of my closet since I have a baby to tote and a toddler to chase (and they don't fit since my feet grow with each pregnancy). I'm a mom. It doesn't mean that I'm old or frumpy or dull, but it does mean something. Something I'm just starting to figure out.

Reorganization

The first time I had a baby, my life turned completely upside down. It was literally as if I had one life before he was born and a new one started when I brought him home. I quit my job to stay home with him (although that was not our original plan) and, due to the fact that I really didn't know what I was doing, I basically sat on the couch and got to know my baby for a couple of months. Then I slowly started trying to figure out how to be a mom, run a house, live on one paycheck, and still pay attention to my wonderful hubby. God knew what He was doing when He gave me two and a half years to get some experience with one baby before He sent Brenna. There was a pretty high learning curve after Brenna, too. Not only was I going from one kid to two, I was adding on a baby who is what we affectionately call "high maintenance."
So while I was getting ready for little Jack to be born, I expected there to be a good bit of shuffling schedules and re-thinking of routines. But this time instead of being overwhelmed by it dreading it, I'm actually looking forward to it. I can't wait to get a fresh perspective on how we do things and what's working and what won't work for now. I've gotten a little more at ease about speaking up about what I can do and what I can't do. I had to give up a couple of "jobs" at the church when Brenna was born and it was really upsetting for me. I felt guilty about it and, unfortunately, that gave other people the idea that I should feel guilty about it. But since I realized that God made me a mother and that His priorities for me now may be different and since I started repeating that to myself everyday:), I've discovered a whole realm of ways to serve from home or with my kids that I hadn't even thought of before. For example, I recently started making the bread for communion and it is such a blessing for me. I love to bake, but it's something I tend to do for others - to cheer them up, to impress them (this is a real problem for me sometimes), even occasionally to bribe them:) But this is something just between Christ and I. And I might have never thought to volunteer until I realized that I needed to move from being in the "outfront" kinds of service to being more behind the scenes.
A lot of things need reorganizing around here, frankly. Pregnancy is always a rough time for me and towards the end I'm pretty much in survival mode. So now that I've freed up all of that time I was spending throwing up, I have time to get things back in shape around here - or rather in a new shape. Our family has grown and changed so it's my job to figure out the best way to roll with it. More laundry, needing to nurse when I should be cooking supper, taking three kids to the grocery store...It may sound irrational, but I sure am having fun:)

Colds/Flu strikes the Miller home

This is a lousy time for us to get sick, but sick is what we are. Levi's on the upswing from full on flu - including all the fun stomach symptoms. Casey and Brenna have colds with coughs and baby and I are just stuffed up. I think we'll all survive, but with Casey working overtime I sure am having some sleepless nights. The irony is that I've only left the house 2 times since we've been home in an effort to keep Jack from catching anything and we still got sick. All this cabinfever for nothing!
But it could be so much worse. My friend's baby, born 4 days before Jack, is having surgery today for a stomach problem. I can only imagine the pain of watching a tiny baby struggle with a serious problem like that. The heel sticks to check Jack for jaundice were traumatic for me - I can't imagine IVs and surgery. If y'all will, I know she'd really appreciate prayer for little Luke.
So we're recovering - hopefully enough to avoid the doctor's office, which is where I think this came from. Is it any wonder I try to stay out of there?

Baby Jack (long!)

I'm typing this one handed so y'all bear with me:) I just wanted to (finally) fill everyone in on our very busy week!
Jack's birth really didn't go like I planned, but, Praise God!, he's here safe and sound. Last Thursday night (the 12th) I laid in bed all night having a lot of what I assumed were more Braxton Hicks contractions - painful as always, but irregular. Hubby was at work so he missed out on my grumpiness, for awhile. The next morning, the kids and I slept late - til 8, that's late at our house. By the time I got them breakfast the contractions were getting a lot closer together and more regular so I laid down to try to get them to stop - still thinking it was just false labor. This is what's commonly known as denial. I finally started calling hubby at 10 when the pains were ten minutes apart and veeerrrry painful. When I called my doctor he wanted me to come into the office to be put on a monitor. Not what I wanted to hear. The monitor? Did this guy not understand I was in labor?!? All of a sudden I was getting very sure that we were headed directly for a baby here and I needed to get myself to the hospital.
Hubby brought his mom home with him to keep the kids and we jumped in the car - no shower, no bag, no nuthin' - and headed to the doctor's office an hour away. Let's just say it was a long drive. We had to keep pulling over so I could be sick (such fun for the people passing us I'm sure). And I was extremely cranky at this point - crying, ranting, raving. I was trying to behave myself, but...let's just say it was not a pretty picture, but hubby stuck with me:)
By the time we got close to the doctor's office, he had called the cell phone to send us on over to the hospital where he was waiting on us. After he checked me, we were all glad I'd gone there first. I was only dilated to a four, but the contractions were only 3 minutes apart. With my first pregnancy I went from 4 cm to needing to push in what seemed like seconds - although I wound up with a c-section anyway. So I may have delivered at the doctor's office had we gone there first. But since we were at the hospital everything went smoothly. I was scheduled for a repeat section for medical reasons so we went ahead with that, but I was much more relaxed and "in control" feeling this time. I got the spinal instead of the epidural - for some reason they always try to push that epidural, and I liked it fine after I got it, but I couldn't go through getting the thing again. Last time it took three very painful tries. The spinal was much easier. Hubby was a little nervous because there was no one there with us yet - we usually have quite a crowd lining the halls. I made him promise to stay with the baby - even if he had to be transferred to another hospital, so he was very worried about having to leave me all alone. My grandparents made it just in time, though.
The surgery itself went really smoothly. The doctor's and nurses were wonderful and worked hard to try to give me the kind of birth I wanted. The only hitch was lowering the curtain in time for me to see the baby sliding out. They lowered it in time, but had to yank it back up to keep the little guy from peeing in my face:) My nausea was still going strong and let me just tell you - throwing up when you're numb from the breastbone down and your insides are on the outside is quite an experience. And not a good one. On a positive (I guess) note, we did discover one anti-nausea medication that works for me (instead of making it worse!) - after trying everything else.
Jack's Apgars were wonderful, but he did have to stay in NICU for about five hours due to some breathing problems. He seems just fine now, but I'm still being a little extra cautious with him - washing hands before visitors hold him, staying home for these first few weeks, the stuff other moms do with every baby:) He's sleeping a lot and doesn't seem to nurse as much as my first two, but he's gaining pretty quickly. He was back up to his birth weight within a week, in spite of serious jaundice.
I just can't find the words to get across how blessed I feel. God is so good! I'm just in awe of Him and His creation. The way He's cared for me and for this precious new life is just more than I can really comprehend. I'm so amazed that this little person fit inside me - how is it that a week and a half ago I felt so huge and now I can imagine how I was carrying this little guy around in me! Nothing compares to knowing that God knit this little one together in me and then protected us both through the whole process of growing him and bringing him into the world! Have I said it before? God is SOOO good!

Jack Warnock Miller is here ...

and he's beautiful! A little early (3 1/2 weeks), but he was 7lbs and 3 oz. I can't wait to fill in all the details, but it's a little hectic right now so I'll get back to you. In the meantime, just let me say God is so good!

I'm kind of hungry...

This is a very good sign. For some reason I am sick for at least the first 35 weeks of pregnancy. I don't just mean I wake up a little nauseous. I mean even the thought of food makes me violently ill. I struggle to keep down things like saltines and ice. But the last few weeks I start to get a little bit of my appetite back and I actually start to gain back a little of the weight I've been steadily losing for the last 9 1/2 months. My doctor is usually thrilled. I'm still sick, but not as much.
So I woke up today and, after throwing up, actually craved a grapefruit. And a grilled ham and cheese. And for dinner tonight .... I cooked! Something better than chicken tenders and fries! Chicken marsala, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, sauteed spinach (with more garlic), and homemade (that's right, I said homemade) bread. And it was good. I missed cooking.

Is anyone else ready to get going on 2006?

I have an almost strange amount of energy this morning - well for someone this pregnant, anyway:) I have so many projects I can't wait to get started on and/or finish up - and of course I want to get it all done before our new little guy gets here.
We're working on redecorating in the kid's rooms. Levi has his own "big boy" room with a transportation theme. We're working on painting a train on his wall with the "train up a child" verse over it. He's really excited about painting on the walls:) Brenna and Baby will share a room (when he moves out of our room, anyway). It has a sort of princess and the frog theme. Lots of little froggies with crowns.
We're also working on switching Brenna from the crib to a toddler bed. After much consideration we finally decided it would be better to get her used to the toddler bed before the baby gets here, even though he won't be in the crib for a little while. We have a cradle (handmade by my grandfather for our first baby) that goes in our room, but most of the time new babies sleep with us. We usually transition to the crib after a couple of months.
I'm organizing the playroom/schoolroom. It's a disaster. Before Christmas I weeded out all of the unused and or broken toys (as well as a few things I just didn't like) to make room for the influx from family members who love to spoil my kids:) But I didn't clear out enough! We're working on some new shelves like these for books and some new storage for toys - some of the tiny stuff is even going in Levi's room in a rolling set of plastic drawers. They really got some great gifts though - a lot of educational stuff and toys with great play potential. Our favorite so far is the huge "sand"box that Casey made for Levi. It's actually filled with peagravel making it perfect for building roads with Levi's nine million Tonka trucks and much neater than sand. It's actually big enough for Levi and Casey to play in:)
I've already started reorganizing my household notebook and reworking some of our routines for these last few weeks before baby and the first few weeks after. I've really revamped my menu and grocery list making sections since Casey is taking over the grocery shopping for a little while. Grocery shopping is actually one of my favorite jobs, but right now I'm having trouble walking very far at all. And, while the kids are actually very well behaved (most of the time) in the store, it's still just not much fun hauling little ones in and out. So since Casey can run in first thing in the morning when he gets off work, I'm taking full advantage. I'll still be doing all the planning - but that's pretty easy from the couch!
I've definitely started to hit that nesting phase, although probably not at full stride just yet. Just a few weeks left to go though - and that's if there are no surprises:) I have this week "off" from going to the doctor, but next week I go in for a biophysical profile. I love the ultrasound part of this - staring for 1/2 an hour at my baby is so wonderful. We actually just had an ultrasound last week, which my mom got to be with us for. The little guy appears to have a head full of hair, not surprisingly since my other two did, too. But the wonderful tech who does ultrasounds for my doctor is convinced that this little guy's hair is curly:) And we got a fabulous picture of his foot. His second toe is longer than his big toe, which my granny says means he will rule the roost:) That sounds good to me! All these little peaks inside just make me itch to get my hands on him. I can hardly wait!
Our year is off to a running start it seems like. Well, maybe more like a fast waddle for me:) But at least I'm moving in the right direction!

I drank a coke today

Since I have insulin issues while I'm pregnant (and really the rest of the time, too), I really watch my sugar intake very carefully. I completely swear off coca cola while I'm expecting, even though I love, love, love it. So when my husband brought some home last night I knew there was gonna be trouble. He bought it to take to a cookout at a friend's house, but the friend already had plenty to drink. So he brought it home. I guess I understand. I mean, what was he supposed to do - throw it away? I kid you not - I literally laid in bed last night thinking about that coke. So I had a glass this morning and... it was good. Hubby's working on getting the rest of it out of the house for me, but I think I feel my willpower coming back anyway, so I should be fine. But I'm pretty amazed that after months of not drinking the stuff I could still be that addicted!